Never Say Never
by demetrifever123
Summary: "You should just give up, Felix. If he doesn't return your feelings soon, he never will." Aro was wrong for once. I knew he loved me, deep down inside. He just didn't know it yet.
1. Beautiful

**Summary: "You should just give up, Felix. If he doesn t return your feelings soon, he never will." Aro was wrong for once. I knew he loved me, deep down inside. He just didn t know it yet.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything from the story. I wish I did, but I don't and never will. :(**

**Hello fanfic readers! Demetri and Felix are my favorite Twilight characters and I had to write this down. My first fic so be nice!**

Beautiful

Demetri sat in the library strumming his fingers on the table. It had been weeks since we were needed outside Volterra's walls,  
and everyone was bored as ever. I heard him emit a small sigh, and I nearly sighed myself.

He stopped strumming on the table and looked over at me, smiling his beautiful, perfect smile I saw every day. I silently prayed I would continue to see it every day for the rest of my existence.

"What are you going to do today, Felix?" He asked ever so innocently. I pried my gaze from his smile to his whole face. Again; beautiful. I know we all are beautiful-our kind, I mean-but he was far from just beautiful.

He was-well there wasn t even a word to describe someone more than beautiful. Words couldn t describe him, so I went a notch below what he was, and called him things like: perfect, beautiful, lovely, amazing, wonderful-okay, enough of the adjectives.

But like I said; words couldn t describe him. He continued to look at me, smiling, and I remembered he had asked me something and was awaiting my reply.

I tried, and failed, to smile as big as him.

"I was actually just thinking about what I would like to pass the time with." More like _whom_ I wanted to pass the time with.

"I was going to listen to music." His smile never faltered. One side of my mouth tugged up to a smirk.

That was perfect. I could spend all day in here with Demetri listening to soft music. Demetri watched me as I stood up and walked over to the small stereo Aro had supplied us with.

I fiddled with the buttons and found a radio station that played a wide variety of music. I recognized my favorite song, and started to sing along with it. Forget soft music, I ll turn up the volume.

As it got louder, so did my singing. I could hear Demetri s bell-like laugh. I started dancing with random moves. I made everything up as I went along, and soon Demetri was dancing with me.

We matched all of our moves and steps perfectly after a few minutes. I went into the moonwalk and so did he. He was positioned in front of me, gliding along the floor gracefully.

Everything was interrupted when I backed up into something hard. When I suddenly stopped, Demetri didn t see and bumped into me.

He spun around and straightened up immediately. I didn t have to look around to know who it was. "Hello, Jane." He was visibly embarrassed to be caught goofing off by the last person who would laugh at seeing it.

I turned around to see a very serious Jane. "Aro wishes to speak with you, Demetri." It was odd to see Jane this serious. Usually she had a wicked grin on her face, or she was frowning. Demetri nodded.

"Thank-you, dearest Jane." I then noticed Alec at the doorway looking smug. I thought everyone was done with that; staring at Demetri.

He had cut off his long hair, and now it was closer to my hair length. It was lighter, too. It always made me curious because I knew he didn t dye it. The first week he walked around with it, everyone stared.

Aro had complimented it a few times during that time, Caius bitterly laughed at it, Marcus didn t seem to care, Heidi flirted with him (Much to my anger), Jane couldn t stop staring at him, Alec snickered every time he walked by, and everyone else whispered about it constantly.

It wasn t even that big of a deal. They were all acting as if he converted to killing animals instead of humans.

If that were the case, Aro would surely have a very, very, long talk with him about it. I personally liked it. He had gone six-hundred years with long hair, and he suddenly cut it short. Usually our kind that were born during the earlier years of man had long hair, and it stayed that way unless you needed to cut it. It sucks that if it gets chopped off it doesn't grow back.

I asked him why a few times, but he just shrugged. He most likely thought that I thought it was hilarious, like everyone else thought.

Demetri walked out of the library and Alec snickered as he walked by.

Demetri-being the nice person he was-stopped and said, "I like your bow," gesturing toward Alec s green bow on his black suit.

He stopped laughing instantly and glared at him. Demetri continued walking and disappeared out of sight quickly.

Alec started touching his bright green bow and started adjusting it self-consciously. Jane glided to his side and they hooked arms. She patted her free hand against his shoulder and told him it was fine.

I turned around on my heel and turned off the music. I was in no mood to dance or sing when Demetri wasn t in the room. I sighed. It was so boring here.

The last time we did something was when the Cullens were here saving Edward from his death he had asked for. As much as I hated them, I was grateful. If it weren t for Bella saying how much she loved a monster like Edward, I would have never had hope for me and Demetri.

After their visit, everyone was buzzing about and discussing love. It was all about how she could love someone like us. Demetri was even a little bothered by it.

He asked me if I ever loved a human. I said no. He asked me if I ever truly loved someone. I said yes. He got curious and asked me who it was. I never told him the answer specifically.

I said, "The one person I love didn t discover my feelings about them." He apologized for having to ask, and I said they will someday. How pathetic is that? Why can't I just tell him? Oh yeah, because I'm a chicken when it comes to admitting things.

The only person that knew about my secret was Aro. You could never keep secrets from him. When he found out I asked him for help, or advice. The only advice I got from him were numerous "You should just give up, Felix. If he doesn t return your feelings soon, he never will." sayings.

I honestly don't care if he never loves me that way. As long as I don't lose him. But then again, it would be nice if he did love me that way.

"The longer you wait, Felix, the more he'll think you're just friends." I spun around to see Jane standing there watching me. How did she know?

"I don't know what you're talking about." She smiled her wicked, angelic smile. The next thing I knew I was on the floor withering in pain.

"Don't lie. I see the way you look at him. I see the look in your eyes when you're with him and the sadness when he isn't around." She bent down by me. "Tell me something, Felix. How much do you love him?" She stopped the pain so I could answer.

"I love him a lot." She looked unsatisfied.

"Define 'A lot'." She demanded. I obeyed, as I didn't want another session of "Pain Felix until he explodes".

"I love everything he does. If someone made him upset, or hurt him in any way, I'd make sure that person doesn't live to see another day. If what I have to do for him to love me is kill thousands of people and vampires, then that's what I'll do. I'll do it for him and him only. You can't ask me how much I love him and expect me to say a whole lot, because I'm a loss for words when it comes to him."

Jane just sat there, her mouth slightly open. She blinked once when I was done. She smiled. "Go tell him before it s too late." Encouragement was something I needed, and something Aro didn t supply me with.

I looked around her to see the expression on Alec's face but what I found instead was something that made me want to sink in a whole and die right there.

**What do you think? This is the first chapter and I have more already typed up. Tell me if I should post them! Great? Good? Ok? Bad? Horrible? Reviews tell me and make me happy =)**


	2. Truthful Lies

**So, this is chapter two. Sorry it took some time; I read my first review and I realized that the story **_**should**_** have some drama before they hook up. Thanks for the idea! So I practically rewrote it and it's a LOT better. Okay, on with the story:P **

Oh. My. God. Anyone. _Anyone_, could have heard that. The whole freaking town could have heard that. Just not _him._ Whoever listens to the damned's prayers—oh, no one.

I shouldn't have told Jane, no matter how much she tortured me. I shouldn't have told anyone. It should have remained between me and Aro, and maybe Demetri.

Now I would pay for my mistake. Badly.

Alec had a huge grin etched on his pale face, and he was looking at the formerly olive-skinned man that was standing next to him in the doorway; Demetri. Oh. My. God.

Well…I guess Aro was done talking to him now. His expression was unreadable.

I sat there on the floor for what felt like the longest time. It was completely silent, and everyone was staring at each other. Jane and Alec weren't hiding their grins too well, though.

Jane stood up straight and silently left the library, followed by her twin.

How perfect. Now we were alone and I had to explain myself. _Perfect. _

Demetri composed himself and asked the question I didn't know how to answer.  
_"Who do you love?" _ I couldn't feel my legs, and I was completely a loss of words for once.

"Uh…err…yeah. Um, he's—a person." I answered discreetly. Demetri raised his eyebrows and laughed once without any humor.

"Ha. Really. That narrows it down. So, you…" he held out his arms in front of him along with his words, "won't tell me." He sighed and his arms slapped back down at his side.

I found enough strength to pull myself up off the floor. "You can tell me, Felix. You know I wouldn't judge you simply by who you love."

If only it were that simple. It only sounds simple; _His name is Demetri and he's standing two feet away from me right now._ A few times I was really close to telling him.

Whenever he brought up a tender subject, it was really tempting. But whenever I opened my mouth, my stomach tightened or I couldn't speak.

It is almost like when a school boy likes a girl a lot, but can only watch her from a distance and admire her so he is not embarrassed.

Maybe that's all I was afraid of; being embarrassed. Maybe it's that and the idea of ruining our _friendship._ I would rather just be friends than nothing at all.

He most likely didn't even prefer men.

"Maybe some other time, Demetri." I could stall for now, but I would have to spill it sooner or later. Hopefully it's later. But until then…stalling is my top priority.

"Ok." He said in a soft voice. I almost felt guilty for not telling him. Were we not best friends? Surely he would understand and tell me how it was for him.

My dead heart dropped when he left the room quietly. Jane knew how long he would be with Aro. She knew he was there the whole time, and I was in too much of a hurry to answer her to even notice he was standing out of my view.

That evil little witch. But, of course, what is to be expected from Jane? She's Jane.

This place was too public. I should probably go to my room. When I walked out of the expansive library and into the endless hallways, I remembered that Demetri was needed for something by Aro.

I will have to ask him about that later. I rounded a corner and stumbled across Jane. I went to move around her but she stopped me.

"Follow me." She ordered. She turned around and walked in the direction she came from. I had no problem keeping up, and in a matter of seconds we were at a study that usually the masters occupied in their spare time.

We had many libraries, and the one I was previously in was the H through O one. She turned the handle and pushed it open to reveal the inside.

"Ah, Jane! You are back with Felix already I see." Aro greeted her enthusiastically. He was standing with his hands behind his back looking over the architecture.

Marcus was standing in a corner like a zombie as usual, and Caius was sitting in a chair with a book opened up on a table in front of him. He looked up slightly when I entered.

"Thank-you, my dear. You may leave now." He dismissed her and she bowed before leaving without a word.

"You wished to see me, Master?" I had no idea why I was called to the room alone. If he wished to send some of the guard on a mission, he usually called all of them down to speak with us. Aro answered.

"Oh, yes. I nearly forgot." Vampires never forgot things. "I'm sorry if I confused you by bringing you here alone, but we have a rather difficult situation on our hands. There has been some—complications, in Seattle. Some rather mysterious deaths and disappearances have brought up suspicions that newborns are involved for unknown purposes.

"It's gone on too long, and now we have no choice but to interfere. There is, however, something that needs to be done as well. Do you remember our dear Cullens and their human, Isabella?" I nodded.

"Well, we have given them enough time I believe, and it is time to check her mortality. The one problem is, Alice will be watching my decisions, I expect, and Isabella might still be human.

"Alice will get suspicious if I summon all of you at once, but if I call each of you in one at a time, she will obviously think it is just for a chat. I have told Alec, Jane, and Demetri what they are to do, and once I tell you, I want it to be done without consulting anyone here.

"You must do what they and I will tell you. If they tell you that you have to go against what I told you at any point, then you must do so. Jane will let you know if that is the case.

"Before I instruct you, do you understand?" I nodded. "Good. Felix, I will tell you straight away to do what Jane says. She and Alec will go their way, and you and Demetri will go to Seattle right away and try to dig up more information on them.

"Once that is done, you will stay where you are and await the others. If you have to, discuss what is happening. Find out what they were created for, and follow their every move. After, I want all of you to go pay a visit to my friend, Carlisle, and check Isabella's mortality. You are then to report back here."

"I understand, Master." I wasn't used to this kind of arrangement, but it wasn't hard to understand. The little pixie was ruining our flow.

Aro smiled. "Fantastic. You may leave now." I turned around to leave. "Oh, and Felix? I would pack your bags now; you will leave when Jane decides so."

"I will." I slipped out into the hallway, and continued walking to my room. This time it was so I could pack. We never needed much, but it was good to have an extra pair of clothing just in case it got soaked or shredded.

I walked until I came to an area where the walls held doors to rooms for the guard and our guests. I opened my door and walked in. I grabbed a suitcase, put it on my bed-which I never slept in, and put in it an extra pair of everything I was wearing.

As soon as I was done I heard a knock on my door.

**Yay I'm done with chapter 2! So, was it better, the same, or worse? I allow anonymous reviews! And I take requests! So don't be shy! Tell me what you think…**


	3. Jealousy

**Ok, sorry it took extra long to get this done. I got a little too into my summer vacation. But I'm back now and I promise chapter four won't take as long**** I don't own anything! ****(Thanks for the reviews! You make me happy! =))**

I looked up. "Come in." I didn't have to even raise my voice because they would definitely hear. The door creaked open, followed by Jane and Alec.

They looked completely serious. "It's time." was all Alec had to say.

"Do go tell Demetri, will you, Felix?" Jane asked, but it wasn't an option. I stepped past them and out into the hallway once more. I wasn't even to Demetri's room when he walked around the corner. I nearly knocked into him.

"It's time to leave." I repeated.

"I know." His tone of voice surprised me. He kept walking, and I followed a little confused.

"Then why did Jane…" I went back to my room quickly with Demetri by my side. I expected them to have done something while I was gone.

There was nothing different, except the over innocent looks on their faces. "Shall we go?"

Jane pretended she was being nice and polite sometimes, but there was always one answer to her. If she didn't like it, you would learn to answer correctly. When I picked up my bag, I noticed it was a little heavier that it should be, but I shrugged it off.

We silently walked past our receptionist, Gianna, who called, "Hello, Jane." She was always over nice to everyone—we could see she was hoping really badly—but she was nicest to Jane, especially. Her vote would count the most, but we all knew what it would be.

We all piled into the elevator, with Demetri and I in the back, and Jane and Alec in the front. They were grinning—again—and were discreetly throwing glances over their shoulders. I didn't know what their problem was lately.

It was a little too awkward with the silence, elevator music, Demetri not looking at me and Alec's slight snickers. One of his noises was a little too loud and Jane shot him a warning look. This kind of moment is when I wish I had Edward's gift. I restrained from asking what was so funny.

At last—thankfully—the doors opened and we were met with the many hallways that led out of the place. Jane led us all through the never ending maze, and we were at the point where I had to reach up and pull the pot hole open for them.

I was rewarded with a little thank-you from Jane. We all pulled up our hoods and climbed out of the pot hole and into the narrow, cobblestone streets of Volterra. It was somewhere in June or July—I believed; time was not a thing I kept track of too often.

It was slightly cold, to a human. The sun was not up, but I was so sure it was in the afternoon.

Jane swiftly led us all through the streets, Alec right on her heels. It was strange how close they were for siblings.

I looked slightly to my left, and saw Demetri looking hostile. When he saw me looking he scowled and looked away from my gaze. Was he mad at me? _He has every right to be, I guess. _

Before I knew it we were out of the city's walls and met with endless farm land. The darkness made it safer for us to run. Demetri and I slung our bags over our shoulders. Jane and Alec never needed anything extra, as they never got their hands dirty.

Then we started running. The air whipped around my cloak and hair, but as quickly as it began, it stopped. Or, Jane stopped, at least. I looked at her, waiting for an order, or maybe a lecture.

"We need to get to the airport. It will be faster if we fly."

I hated flying. The pilot always made it impossible to make it through the flight without killing him.

One time I couldn't help myself and ate him. The reason why everyone yelled at me was because we hadn't landed and I didn't know how to fly. We ended up having to jump out into the desert.

"Ours or _theirs?_" Alec asked his twin. If I had to share an airplane with hundreds of humans, someone obviously isn't getting off.

"Ours." She answered. I sighed with relief. "But if you make me change my mind, Felix…" She teased. I didn't miss the warning.

Soon we were in our private airplane, and I was met with the delicious smell of our pilot. I packed away my bag, and once we were all seated we took off. The time seemed to pass by slower than it usually did.

This time was different. I couldn't quite put my finger on it though. Jane is silent as usual. Alec is silent also, sitting next to Jane. I'm as far away from her as possible…Oh, I knew now. Demetri was farther from me than usual, and he was over-quiet.

I didn't even have to ask why. I peeked over at Jane and Alec, who weren't so silent anymore. Alec slightly looked over at my bag, fought back a grin, and—yes—snickered, _again_.

Jane grinned too, and nudged him. She gestured toward Demetri's silent form, and their smiles threatened to crack their faces. I was starting to suspect that Demeti's anger toward me wasn't because I refused to tell him my deepest, darkest secret.

That evil little witch. I wish I was a shield. Then I wouldn't have to be so afraid of yelling at her.

The flight dragged on, and on, and on. The pilot might not know it, but he was making it worse. Every now and then, the bitch twins started laughing. I had _no _idea as to what would be so funny. Unless they thought Demetri and I fighting was funny.

I might as well not even call them their real names. If they were going to behave like this, then so could I. With their names, however, it was difficult. If Alec's name was Edward, that would be best. "Assward" "Fuckward" and "Jerkward" would be names for the Cullen guy.

Jane, hmm, nope, nothing. I could call them long names to annoy them though. "Alejandro". "Janice." "Alexandria". "Jane the Pain...in the ass".

Those are dumb. I really wish Alec's name was Edward, though. Maybe Jane's name should be...Rosalie. "Fuckalie". "Assalie".

_Now you're just trying too hard, Felix. _

This is too hard.

Finally, the plane landed in Virginia. I restrained from killing the pilot, because I knew we needed to get back.

Without being seen, we met up in a small wooded area, away from the humans' gazes. "Alright. Demetri and Felix, don't bother us unless it is a dire emergency." Jane said the obvious right away.

"Do what Aro told you. But first I want you two," she gestured toward Demetri and I, "to reserve a hotel suite anywhere in Seattle. After you have done everything, find us." The last part she said about finding them reminded me of some crappy movies I've seen in my never-ending life.

Jane and Alec interlocked their fingers and left. Demetri started to leave, and I had to remind myself that we were to go together. _Alone._ I swiftly caught up with him, and his next words caught me off guard.

"What's _Santiago _like?"

**Reviews?:)**


	4. Seattle

**I'm so very sorry! I know I promised…I was busy. If there's a way you want me to make it up to you, let me know. Just read "La Mia Stella" and you might feel better... (Especially Phoenix Uchila) =)**

Demetri's words weren't harsh, but they weren't gleeful.

"What?" was all I could muster. He was no doubt under the wrong impression. He kept walking, and I was forced to follow.

"You _know_ what." He hissed. I could hear his expression change drastically.

"Know _what? _What?" Oh, so now this was a "What" fest.

"Don't, Felix. I know who it is, and you still won't even"- I cut him off.

"You think it's _Santiago? _Who told you? _Jane?" _

He wasn't listening, though, and was pretending to be focused on tracking. I knew he couldn't unless he knew something personal about the newborns.

This was no doubt his way of not having to go on with a conversation. But that wasn't really a conversation. It was a…_fight?_ I didn't know. If it was, there wasn't a winner. Yet.

After a few moments of silence, his crimson eyes opened and he started running. I knew to follow.

Running behind him all the way to Seattle gave me a lot of thinking time. After what seemed like a few hours, I came to a conclusion.

For the past few centuries I have loved him, unconditionally. Since I first fell in love, I told myself there was no rush to tell him.

I told myself that a lot for centuries, and now, there was indeed a rush. The situation needed me to be brave to something other than defeating vampires—for once in my life.

I knew that if I didn't, I would lose him. He would never speak to me again. Not unless I told him.

I could by as much time as I wanted still, but it would become harder and harder by the day. We might have forever, but not everything could wait forever.

If all he felt was brotherly relations to me, then I could deal with it. If I told him and that was what he felt—friendship—he might understand and we could return to normal. Maybe.

If I didn't tell him, he would never forgive me. I knew that. Even if, in a hundred years, I got the courage to confront him for the first time in ages, and finally tell him. He would still never forgive me.

I needed to tell him. Fast. I've known the time would come when I needed to, but I didn't expect it to be so soon.

After I think about it, though…I _did _have four hundred years to do so…

I was snapped out of my trance when Demetri stopped a few meters in front of me. As I looked around I saw how much I wasn't paying attention. We were, indeed, near a big city. Up ahead of us more were the city lights, cars, and noises of Seattle.

We had been traveling for a little more than a day, and I wasn't paying attention the _whole time. _

"We should find a hotel to stay in before we hunt." His voice startled me after more than a day of silence.

The awkward silence that followed made me really uncomfortable. I rubbed the back of my head with my hand and sighed. "So...who's renting?" He seemed to sense that I was trying to talk to him.

"It would be best if we stayed together in Seattle." I nodded in agreement. If the newborns suddenly showed up, it would be more effective if we worked together. And we would hopefully be able to work things out. "Keep a low profile." He warned and pulled the hook of his cloak over his head so it shielded his face.

I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face as I pulled my hood over my head.

Silently we slipped through the shadows in the dark alleyways. The humans that listened to their instincts cowered in the corners of the streets away from us. The recent killing sprees must have made them all wary.

The dark night made the entire city lights glow with dozens of different colors. I rarely got to go visit big modern cities on missions. They reminded me of Demetri. They were colorful, interesting, beautiful, and bright. And the biggest similarity is that they didn't fit in at Volterra. The lights they had transcending off themselves would not match anything in the old city.

The only thing keeping Demetri from revealing it anywhere he went was the smoky grey cloak he wore to cover himself, and the fake, emotionless character the Masters would make him wear.

He would never smile the way he did to anyone outside of Volterra.

It was true; Demetri deserved better than to listen to three elder vampires his whole life while they made him slaughter whoever doubted their power. He wasn't a monster or someone that belonged in the Volturi.

As crazy as it sounded, he had a soul, a conscience. If I had admitted it to anyone, they would have laughed in my face. He had a heart, too. It may not pump blood through his veins anymore, but it was still there. If I had the guts, I would tell him to make better of his life. Aro was the only other person who saw this in him. Because of his tracking abilities Aro was able to overlook that factor.

Our footsteps couldn't possibly be heard by any human. There was one building that was brighter than the rest, and I asumed that it was a hotel. Before we entered, we pulled down our hoods so we didn't look as much of a threat. When the door opened, there was a high-pitched bell that sounded, followed by a friendly "Hello. May I help you?" from the front desk.

Demetri put on his best smile, being careful not to frighten her. "Actually, yes, you can. I need two rooms, please." His beautiful, flawless voice made him irresistable to anyone. She blushed, and she looked down.

"Cash or credit card?" Her voice was a little different. It was flirty.

"Credit card." Aro had a lot of money saved, and we had many credit cards. We didn't need to carry them because we were able to remember the numbers. She showed her white teeth when she smiled back, and I noticed that she _was _very pretty-even for a human. With her strange, redish-brown hair, tan skin, and soft brown eyes, she would be very beautiful as a vampire. It would make sense for him to like her.

He walked closer to the desk and set his arm it. She giggled softly and I narrowed my eyes. She asked for the number and he gave it to her without needing a card. She seemed a little surprised he didn't need it, but continued and eventually gave him two silver keys. Apparently Jane and Alec would share rooms and so would Demetri and I. So far the mission was normal setup.

He thanked her and she discreetly handed a sheet of paper along with the keys. It was probably her phone number. "There you go. Have a nice stay." I hoped tomorrow there would be someone else at the front desk. We passed by her and she waved a little. I shot her a little glare before we stepped inside an elevator. I might have to eat her later.

**Chapter 4 is up and done! I'm still sorry it took really long:( If you want I could make it up to you...;)**


	5. Te Amo

**Hello! (Again) Sorry it took so dang long again, but I had to travel out of state to go to a wedding. Chances are the next chap will take longer because on Thursday I'm going to Great America. I'll try to move things along more in the chapters for you, though=)**

The elevator door dinged once before it opened. The inside was red, like my current mood. She seemed like she would taste good… but Demetri might get angry with me. I couldn't have him any angrier towards me than he already was. I had to admit it, though…his scent was exactly the opposite of repulsive when he was mad. Peppermint and cinnamon…

The soft elevator music didn't help the awkward silence one bit. In fact, it made it worse to know that it was quiet enough to hear nothing other than the music. The bright lights in the elevator made every part of him look paler than usual. I couldn't help but stare at him from behind during the short elevator ride.

It dinged again and the doors opened, revealing a long hallway with red carpet. There were a few doors on each side, and at the end of the hallway it opened up more. The smell gave away that there was a pool somewhere I would have to visit. It had been quite some time since I went swimming, and I found it very fun. Humans and vampires shared very few interests, and swimming was one of them for me. It was a lot more fun when you didn't get tired and you never needed to come up for air. And you could open your eyes underwater and look around without goggles.

At a human pace, I followed Demetri until he stopped in front of one of the doors. He took out one of the keys we were given and unlocked it before turning the knob and pushing open the door. We walked in, and I was surprised. It was like a mini apartment. I whistled in surprise at the little living room, and open space that popped out at me like a black spot on a sheet of white paper. And the theme was…white. More like a white spot on a black sheet of paper. The walls, floor, tables, couches, and everything else for that matter, was white. Not off-white, not crème-white, not even simple white, but _white white_. As white as white could get, and everything looked like it was hosed down, scrubbed, washed, dried, and washed all over again and again and again…

Oh, no. _No. _White wasn't my thing. It was, by far, my least favorite color. It was the opposite of what I wore every day. Maybe even the opposite of my personality.

Demetri threw the keys on the kitchen counter and they made a scrapping sound as they slid across it a few inches. I heard him let out a huff. "Wow," was all I could muster. Slowly, like someone in a horror movie looking around the torture room for their killer, I turned my head side to side, inspecting the place. To my right was a short hallway with three rooms. Two of them were probably the rooms. I made my way, very slowly, down the hallway. My advance must look like the dumb blondes from scary ghost movies that always go toward the creepy noises. I could almost hear the suspense music playing—more like the cheese scrapping against the cheese shredder. There were two doors on the left wall, and one on the end. Reluctantly, I cracked open the first door, and stuck only my head inside. My mouth gapped.

My eyes stung just looking at the room. Again, white. But this time with girly plush things. And the kind of bed with a million pillows piled up on it. Not being able to look at it anymore, I pulled myself back into the hallway and slammed the door behind me with a big bang. Oh hell no. "I think I would rather change in the living room." I panted as I leaned up against the door. Suddenly Demetri stepped out of the room at the end of the hall. The door slammed shut and his expression mirrored mine.

"You should see the bathroom." His gaze turned to the last room. "Do you think it's better?" I just shrugged. Whatever was behind it, it couldn't be worse than what I just saw. Or maybe it could…

"And of course we can't give this to Jane without her throwing at tantrum." I sighed. "I need to get out of here." There was a pool just begging for me to scare humans away from. I would have to find a swimsuit though. Oh well, what are they going to do? Arrest me? I would eat the judge before I was pronounced guilty. Maybe I could eat a swimmer and steal his swimsuit. That would be convenient. For me, at least. And I haven't seen Demetri shirtless in a while…and Jane and Alec wouldn't be here for who knows how long.

I walked quickly to the living room, careful not to look at too many things, and set my bag down on the couch. For some reason I felt like opening it. It wouldn't hurt. So I _did _unzip it. And I didn't expect anything different than the way I left it. But it _was _different. I growled. The bitch twins…

I heard Demetri laughing behind me, and I turned around to see him looking very amused. "And they couldn't think of anything better to replace your clothes with. Hair dye? Alec's losing his open-mindedness." He walked over and picked up one of the boxes, turning it different ways and inspecting it. Then he tossed it back in the bag.

"This is so not funny," I grumbled.

"Oh, but it is. You would be laughing if the situation was turned around." That was true. But right now I couldn't laugh at anything. My clothes were _gone. _I couldn't change. Hopefully our mission moved along quickly.

"So I have to steal my victim's swimsuit _and _clothes." I sighed. I had to be honest, not many people wore my size.

"You can just buy something." Oh. That's right. Wait a minute…Is he really talking to me?

"Are you talking to me again?" I asked casually. His smile faded a little. "Why do you think it's _him?" _I didn't need to specify, he knew what I was talking about.

"You said 'he', so that excludes all the girls. That leaves Afton, Santiago, and Corin. Corin's just not your type, Afton's taken—and you said once you didn't like to ruin a relationship already there. That just leaves Santiago. And I see you talk to him sometimes. And, well, he's a looker." His reasoning would make sense except for one flaw; he forgot someone. Right away he excluded himself.

"You forgot someone." Right after I said it his mouth hung open.

"Oh my god, you don't love Santiago, you love _Alec! _Is that even legal?"

"Ew, no. I don't _love _anyone you mentioned."

"Well, the only other people it could be are Marcus, Caius, and Aro. You don't…" I made a disgusted face and shook my head. "So Santiago."

"No, it's not him. There's still one more person you left out." I might not be able to tell him straight out, so he could figure it out for himself.

"But that's it. There's no one else in the guard." His smile was completely gone and replaced with a confused look. His voice faltered.

"Demetri, stop being so ignorant and naïve! You know as well as I do who," I growled. He was making it so hard to admit. I had admitted my feelings for him a long time ago, and now here I was telling him I loved him in my own different words, yet he wasn't listening?

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Great, more interruptions. That was probably Jane wanting her key. Demetri walked over and opened it. He handed her what she wanted, and said the room number. She raised an eyebrow at all the white in our room. She left swiftly and the door shut behind her. It only took a few seconds before she screamed. Her room must look the same.

"I still don't know." Demetri spoke softly. Do I have to _sing it_ for him? In an instant I was standing behind him, leaning towards his ear.

With my cool breath on his face, I whispered, "Demetri. Te amo."

**OOOO! It's out in the open…;) How will Demetri react? Review! :D**


	6. Enlightenment

**Chapter siiiiiiiiiiiiix! I just love the sound of that. I've seriously been holding this out longer than I originally thought. My first version before I rewrote it had them hook up in like chapter 2. And lemons in chapter 3. But don't worry; you won't wait much longer. Just a few more chapters and I might have some of that lime. I find it hard to write lemons. The whole time I'm thinking, **_**"Oh, god…I can't believe I'm writing this…I feel so dirty…too much explicit stuff…I can read it but I can't write it…this is more lime than it is lemon, isn't it?...maybe I should just go for lime…" **_**Well, if I do decide to give you lemons, they're probably going to be very skimpy unless I practice it before I post it. Anyways, let me know if you want lime and/or lemons**** I do not own Twilight or any of the characters blah, blah, blah…Are you still reading this? I've been having feelings that people don't take the time to read the author's note on stories. If you are reading this still… (Sniff) I'm touched :') (I do not own any of the quotes that were in Eclipse. I just liked them so I borrowed them**

The screams from the humans pierced the silence in the black night. The newborns playfully threw them and rolled them in all different directions, playing with their food. That was something we all did at one point when we were newborns. The four of us stood on an old building with dim light above us. In front of us we watched the newborns picking humans one by one from a vehicle they tipped over by a small fire. If I hadn't recently fed, I would have found it difficult to keep from going over to the humans that were bleeding excessively. "They have already drawn too much attention." Demetri stated his opinion. We were deciding from two things. Let them live a little longer, or kill them the next chance we got. I was not going to be bothered by the decision; as long as I got to kill something.

"So has our inaction. Others may begin to question the Volturi's effectiveness," I added after. The screams paused with the newborns as another vampire—who seemed older—slammed a car door on the ground as he scolded the hungry monsters he watched over. Monsters seemed like an irrelevant term. They could not help it, and they usually are not that way for long. But it was true; we had waited far too long to take action, and it was about time we did.

"Let them," Jane softly ordered. She, too, watched them with scrutinizing eyes. I inhaled an unneeded breath through my nose and turned my back on the feeding frenzy. I took a few steps forward and suggested the thing that would have gotten me killed by Jane if I wasn't important somewhat.

"Maybe we should consult with Aro." That was what we usually did when we had no idea what to act on next. I had forgotten for a split second that Jane was completely in charge. Right after I said that, I realized my mistake, but a little too late. Before I knew it I was on my knees in excruciating pain. I restrained myself and kept quiet so the new vampires did not hear us.

"Aro's decisions are being watched. We must decide." I felt the pain stop and Alec spoke up to his twin.

"Then decide, sister. It's time." His voice was gentle as he consulted shortly with probably the only person he ever cared about.

"Yes it is," she agreed. Well, finally. "Either we let them do what they were created for...or we end them. Decisions, decisions..." she said innocently. Well no shit, kid. That's what we have been deciding on this whole time.

I was still on my knees, recovering from the pain I just went through. I looked over my shoulder at Demetri. When his gaze met mine, he abruptly looked away from me and at the newborns. The person I would love forever. The person I could not seem to get out of my head for more than five minutes. And I had told him I loved him. His reply ringed in my head; _"I- I wish…I knew…how _I _felt. I am sorry." _Then he quickly fled our hotel to go hunting. He didn't know? It was simple, really. Either you love someone or you don't. Instead he left me hanging, wondering. I let my frustration out on the beautiful hotel receptionist. She tasted as good as I expected.

Slowly—careful not to aggravate Jane by getting up too soon—I stood upright. I don't know who decided to leave, but we all moved as a group away from the gruesome scene and disappeared from everyone's sight into the dark night.

"Felix, Demetri, do what you will. Alec and I are going hunting," she said business like. Just what I needed; more "alone time" with Demetri. A few hours ago I found out there was a thing as too much alone time. But maybe this time we could sort things out.

Alec and Jane disappeared into the night. There was nothing but the sounds of cars on the street next to the alley we were in. "And then there were two," I said in a low voice. I leaned back against the brick building. Demetri did the same across from me. A human wouldn't be able to see us due to the shadows of the buildings casting over us.

"I'm sorry I ran," he said in a hushed voice. "I just don't _know. _I don't know how I feel. I don't know how it would work out if I did. We—I guess you can say—'work' together. It would change things. If it didn't work out…Aro might not approve…"

"Aro won't mind as long as nothing changes when we 'work'," I replied, raising my eyebrows at "work".

"I've never been with a guy, and I don't think I want to. I mean, it's not necessarily something they encouraged when we grew up." That was true. Everyone that came from the 1900's or sooner grew up being taught that being gay was taboo, and in some eras it was severely punished.

"The last time I checked it was the twenty-first century, and being gay was fine."

"Maybe it _is_ fine, but I still wish it away."

"But you know you can't. So why try? It's easier if you don't."

"And it would have been easier if you told me how you felt a long time ago," he hissed. I sighed.

"It's a simple thing, Demetri. Do you love me or don't you?"

"I didn't know if you preferred guys, so I tried to keep it as brotherly as possible. But then we exchanged some gestured, and touches, that might have been considered more than friendly, and I got really confused. You confuse me, Felix." He took a step forward. "I won't really know unless I try, I guess." I gave him a confused look. He walked to my side and leaned against the brick building next to me.

I looked down at him and stared into his crimson eyes. "Try what?"

He placed a hand on my arm and turned to face me. "_You _tell _me _how I feel. Enlighten me, Felix," he whispered. I continued to stare into his eyes until I realized I had unconsciously leaned forward and he had closed his eyes. Suddenly what he wanted me to do was clear. What I had dreamed about for centuries, what I thought he would never let me do. A smirk slowly crept across my face, and I bent down until my lips were centimeters from his. He was asking me to do this, and I was very happy to oblige. I closed the gap between us completely, all worry and care gone. And I couldn't help the smile that threatened to split my face when he didn't pull back.

**Yay I'm all done with this chap! Reviews are very welcome! Even if you are anonymous! And I haven't gotten any feedback for "La Mia Stella" yet...;)**


	7. Headaches

**Okay, so here's my excuse for the lack of updates. I had strep throat for a week and a half. I had writer's block. School started. I was separated from my laptop for a few days when I was free. After that I don't really have an excuse, and I have been slacking terribly. There you have it. I can tell this is going to be a very long year…And just so you know this chapter I'm going to jump around a bit so it picks up its pace a little because I've dragged it out the Seattle thing too long. So this chapter starts off after Eclipse and the beginning somewhat of Breaking Dawn. **** And I am trying my hardest to expand my vocabulary**

Fucking Cullens.

Fucking Edward and his mate.

Why do females always do the craziest things for a family? Vampires shouldn't have the urge to have a family. We were solitary, goddamn it. Most of us live our entire existences nomadic and alone. They're fine with it. A lot of us live our entire existences with only a mate. I would be fine with that. The rest live in covens. I presume they are happy also. I've even heard of some vampires that live with their actual biological family, because they were fortunate enough. But I have never heard of a coven of vampires so _desperate_ for a child that they would create one.

And the dumbasses would have probably gotten away with it if some chick named Irina hadn't told on them.

Fucking Cullens.

I didn't want kids. I didn't think I would _ever_ want kids. Never. And it might have something to do with Jane and Alec being such demons. Or that whenever I approached children they would run away screaming.

Fucking kids.

I hated everything right now. I already broke my mirror because my reflection annoyed me. I broke almost everything in my room. My dresser, my desk, my bed…

Fucking headache.

I knew I wasn't the only one in Volterra with a headache too. There were nine Cullens now, just including Bella and her "child". We were all grounded in Volterra and we had yet to pay them a visit. What was taking so long I had no freaking idea. So _someone _had to watch them and make sure they stayed where they were until they did. _Nine _vampires. I could barely even count that because of my headache, and he was pressured to find a way to track down the Cullen's shield along with the rest of them.

At times like this Aro relied on Demetri more than the rest of the guard. Without him, we would be blind. _I would be blind. _And Demetri had said that whenever he tried to find Bella, the most he could get out of it was a really nasty migraine.

My bedroom was getting stuffier by the minute, and I decided it was time to get some fresher air. As soon as my door flung open I was attacked by Heidi.

"Hello, Felix." She leaned against the door frame that could have been considered almost seductively. Her revealing clothes and tone of voice immediately made me aware. Heidi was very promiscuous with the guard.

"Heidi." I addressed her as formal and non-flirty as I could, however she didn't move and her smile never faltered.

"Now, what would a handsome guard like you be doing on such a lovely afternoon?" My mind screamed at me to leave, but I didn't want to be rude. After all, this woman kept us all fed.

"I was just leaving. Wow, it's the afternoon already? Well I better get going…" I spoke quickly and made a step forward. She simply put her other arm across the door opening, stopping me. I could feel her talent pulling at me, drawing me to her like she lured all those humans. It was something I could have fallen for if I hadn't slapped myself in the face and thought of Demetri.

"What's your hurry? I'm sure whatever it is," her voice became lower and even more seductive," it can wait." She edged her way closer to me and I took several steps back. She stepped into my room and slammed the door shut behind her. I didn't know what had gotten into her lately. For the last few weeks it seemed her only priority was sleeping with me. Every time it got harder and harder to reject her, and she became more and more persistent. I didn't want it to continue this way, and one of my solutions was just having sex with her and getting it done and over with. But I wasn't a cheater. It would _kill _Demetri. He would hate me. But then again, he didn't have to know…

No. I _would not _be unfaithful to him, no matter what the circumstances. Heidi stepped toward me and pulled down the straps on her dress. It slid down her body and dropped to the floor, exposing her entirely. Her lean body, her slight curves, long legs…An unintentional groan escaped my mouth and that was all the approval she needed to bring her lips to mine in a fierce kiss.

Half of me screamed to stop, reminding me why this was so wrong, and the other half was pushing me toward this, saying it would only be one time thing and she would finally leave me alone.

The next thing I knew she was tearing my clothes off, and when I finally snapped back to reality, we were already done. No. No, no, no…

She smiled at me before getting off and slipping her dress back on. She looked just as she had before, and I was thankful no one would notice. Before she opened the door, she looked back at me, still sitting in the chair feeling disgusted with myself.

"Bye, Felix." She winked and then slipped out of my room.

At that moment I couldn't have hated Heidi more, or myself. I just hoped he would never find out and it would pass, spare him the hurt, the grief…the betrayal. I had betrayed him in the worst way possible. I went to leave my room to go see him, but right now I couldn't. I couldn't see him smile at me; I couldn't see how much faith and trust he had in me. I didn't know I would ever be able to look at him again without having the horrible guilt pulling me down. I wanted to undo it all; tell Heidi off and deal with her suggestive nature a different way. She was only here so long at a time.

I needed a shower. Badly. But I couldn't bring myself to stand up.

I don't know how long I sat there, maybe a few hours. I didn't really care. I could very well sit there until someone came and dragged me away. If only I could do that.

Very slowly, I stood upright and looked around, as if dazed. I think I was. Everything happened so fast I could look back and say that never happened. I dragged myself to my bathroom and took a very hot, long shower.

I had just finished drying myself off when I heard a knock on the door. As fast as I could I got dressed and cautiously opened it. It was Alec, and he looked pissed.

"Yes?"

He immediately answered in a raging fit. "'Felix I have to talk to you," he growled and the anger in his voice intimidated me. I stepped aside so he could come in, which he did hastily. I don't think I had any idea why he was here, other than some horrible thing that happened he was blaming on me.

I didn't even completely shut the door before he full out yelled at me, but making sure no one could hear. "You pig! You selfish, self absorbed, pig! I can't be_lieve _you! What were you thinking?" His hissed his complaint and for a split second I thought he was talking about me and Heidi. He left his statement open-ended as if he expected me to answer him. When I didn't answer it only fueled his anger.

"You probably don't even _know_ what I'm talking about!" His stare was directed at me and he sneered and rolled his head like he was going through some kind of teenage hormone. "Cheater," he yelled as he stabbed my chest with his finger. "You actually forgot that everyone here can hear for miles away, didn't you? Well, you couldn't be any louder!" Oh shit. I was so dead. Instantly my heart dropped.

"Does he—"

"Thankfully, no! He's so busy watching Carlisle he was probably zoned out. But there's no way it's going to stay a secret when _everyone else _knows. It's not even going to be suspected as rumors because a lot of people see you as the cheating type! Let me tell you something, _Felix. _He has to find out, and I'm not letting the rest of the guard tell him first! So do you want to tell him, or should I? And keep in mind that it might sound better if he hears it from you." I could only stare. When I didn't respond Alec only sighed.

"Look, he's a good fricking friend, and he doesn't deserve this. I really don't want to be the one to have to break the news to him. I only have experience comforting people throwing a tantrum, so I really have no idea how to even make him feel better—other than giving him ten bottles of wine and saying 'have at it'. Wait a minute…No! I'm not letting you choose! Right now! Go talk to him! Go on." He started hustling me out my door. I was speechless. When I was fully out he pointed in the direction to Demetri's room and shut the door in my face. Did he just kick me out of my own room? And then stay in it? I shook it off and did as he said. Would "I slept with Heidi" sound better than "I slept with someone else"? I didn't know if saying right away we had sex was a little too strong. Maybe just saying I was cheating, or I had cheated. I had cheated. But that might make it seem like it was a continuous thing. I was closing in on his room, and it seemed the more I repeated what I was going to say, the easier it felt like it was going to be. I thought I might actually be able to say it without turning into a messy puddle.

This was all too sudden. A few hours ago everything was perfect. I knew there were some imperfect things about our relationship, but I felt it _was. _He had never told me he loved me, although I had told him countless times, and we had only shared very quick kisses. Sometimes it felt like it wasn't enough, especially never being able to touch him intimately, but it was perfect and I hadn't asked for more. Now he was going to think us not being fully mated drove me to someone else. Now he would think he wasn't good enough.

I stopped in front of his door and all the motivation I had built up to do this washed away. Alec was right; I was a pig. I had heard countless stories about men cheating and only feeling sorry for their selves when they were caught, except I wasn't feeling sorry for myself, but for who it would hurt the most. I couldn't knock on his door, I just couldn't do it. As if he heard my thoughts, the door opened and revealed _him. _His expression first read confused, probably to why I was here, and then the corners of his mouth turned up in a small smile. "Hi." I would have smiled also if the circumstances I was visiting under were different.

He gestured for me to come in, plopped down on his bed and patted the spot next to him. He seemed happy to see me, and it just made things a million times harder. I was hesitant to sit next to him, but decided to act normal at least for a few more minutes. Just like all the other times I was close to him; it was all I could think about. He was sitting next to me, cross-legged, smiling, beautiful, I could _smell _him, even taste him on my tongue every time I breathed in, my arm almost touching his, so _close. _

I knew he would be fine just sitting in silence for hours; we had done that before. He just enjoyed my company. He must have sensed the tension, because he asked me what was wrong. I couldn't tell him right away, that would just make everything I said after it seem fake. I had to make him feel like I truly loved him.

"I love you."

"I know." His slight humor lightened the mood, only a bit.

"No, I mean I _love you. _I need you…with me. You have to understand that. Please. I know you might not, but you have to know that I'm unconditionally in love with you, Demetri, and I would never intentionally hurt you."

"Thank you." I gritted my teeth.

"I'm serious." His smile flattened out into a serious face, and it looked like he was mocking me. He set his hand on my arm and brought his face to mine in a chaste kiss. It lasted longer than I thought it would, but ended sooner than I hoped.

He didn't pull back completely and left his face within a few inches of mine. "What's wrong," he repeated. "You sound like you're about to tell me something bad."

I didn't answer. "Felix." I could feel myself falling apart, and a huge lump formed in the back of my throat. I touched his forehead with mine and cupped the side of his face. He closed his eyes and waited patiently.

I swallowed and pulled myself together as much as I could. "You are so beautiful, and perfect, and amazing." That part came out easily. "I don't deserve you." That part was a little harder to say.

"I could say the same thing to you," he breathed.

"But there's a good reason why you should have better." I could feel the lump coming back as the words I wished I didn't have to say slipped out. "I was with someone else." I said it so softly I wasn't sure if he heard me when nothing happened.

I felt him stiffen beneath me and his eyes flashed open. "What?" His question was rhetorical. "Are you serious?" His voice cracked and weighed a ton with hurt, betrayal, and disbelief. When I didn't answer he stared into my eyes. I felt my dead, granite hard heart shatter like glass.

**That was a long chapter! For me, at least. What do you think of the sudden turn in the story? Sorry I had to leave you hanging like this but it's getting late and I can't keep writing. Review:D**


	8. How Could You?

**Whoa I just can't get past what I wrote up for the last chapter. In my mind I just can't see Demetri ever being able to forgive him. I mean, would **_**you**_**? Well, I don't know because he seems like the type that can give you puppy dog eyes…I do not own Twilight or any of the setting, plot, characters, blah, blah, blah…they are the property of the brilliant Stephanie Meyer. **

He looked into my eyes with an expression that made me look away. I couldn't even look at his face. "When?" The "w" took longer to come out.

"Just once…today…" I could feel my chest tighten in response to a very humanly feeling I had come to hate: sorrow. I could feel his warm body move away from me, off of his bed. I almost reached out to him, but stopped myself. Maybe the last thing he needed was comfort.

"Who?" His voice was edgy and rapidly rising. I told him and who seemed to make it worse. "Oh my god, you had sex," he bit out through his teeth. I flinched at his venom filled words. "I can smell her all over you." His eyes looked me up and down.

"Demetri—" I was cut off.

"Don't! You can't fix this!" I could picture him as a human and the way his tears would be flowing down his cheeks, but couldn't in his form. After that I couldn't bring myself to listen to his words about why I had betrayed him, why I couldn't answer any of his questions. I could tell he was just about ready to give up by the way he squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed the palm of his hand on his forehead. I tried my best to pay attention to him, but my thoughts kept wandering to what would happen to us after; he would most likely hate me. I managed to snap out of it when he completely gave up on yelling when he couldn't bear to not cry. His face was dry and he turned around from me. I took the time to walk over to him and stand a few inches behind him.

"I'm sorry." Sorry was the worst thing to say after you cheated, but it was the only thing I could think of at the time. He looked at the wall with his hands down by his sides. The image of him with actual tears running down his red face flashed through my head again.

"I loved you so much and you treated me like dirt," he choked out. "You said that you would never do anything like this."

"I know."

"You repeatedly told me how much I meant and then you threw me aside so easily."

"I never meant to," I half-whispered. The back of my hand stroked the side of his neck and he stayed where he was.

"It's because Heidi will give you what you want. A guy's a guy, and Heidi's more attractive than I am and she had more _experience _than I do."

"That's not it at all." He most certainly was more attractive than Heidi, and experience had nothing to do with it. I moved my hand to the back of his neck and moved my mouth to where my hand had once been. I felt him shiver when my lips ghosted over the sensitive skin there. His response came immediately.

"Get out." I pulled away from him and thought that it was the best thing to do at the time. So I left, and the further I walked down the hallways the tighter the space seemed. I pulled at the collar of my shirt trying to loosen it, but to no avail. My pace quickened and I passed by some people that stared at me as I passed, and I through open the door to the throne room. I could wait a month for things to die down.

A month was _long, _and a lot could happen. But a lot couldn't happen. We were in the States, almost to the Cullens, and I hadn't spoken to Demetri. It seemed every time he was wound up in something else and I would walk toward him Alec would step in my way, give me a pointed look and tell me to walk the other way. Teenagers.

And now we were closing in on the Cullens with every member of the guard here, along with a bunch of "witnesses". We almost marched into a field in synchronization that I thought was cheesy. At first I was surprised at how many people stood on the opposite side, though it was nearly enough to defeat us. I barely paid attention to what was happening, only pin pointing certain words that mattered. Apparently that Bella chick could block all of our gifts for the whole group she had. Great, maybe we _were_ even.

Then I couldn't help but notice how our witnesses left us, making us technically outnumbered. We were prepared to fight and we were prepared to die if we were to lose. My eyes flashed to where Demetri stood, and he looked calm on the outside, but I had no idea what he was thinking. Thinking. I looked at one of the Cullens, Edward. He was a mind-reader, and he would no doubt go for Demetri, who even with his experience, would lose to someone who knew what his every move was.

They had someone who could control the elements impressively, along with many other gifted witnesses.

We were going to lose.

We all crouched, but my mind yelled to let Demetri leave the field unharmed. For the first time I didn't _want _to fight. I couldn't. I wanted to leave the Volturi. All of this fighting and gore was too much for eternity. But if I left and the Cullens lost, Demetri and I would surely be killed for not being loyal to them.

Everyone was in defense now. I didn't want to do this. _Let him leave. _Suddenly I heard the mind-reader speak up. "Wait," he ordered, and they all waited. He eyed me with squinted eyes for a minute. "Go ahead." What? Was he talking to me? "Go," he repeated. I was shocked but couldn't waste my opportunity. Everyone was watching me, even Aro.

"Demetri," I spoke urgently and his looked at me curiously. I wasn't sure how to ask him, so I just outstretched my hand to him. He eyed it for a moment as if he wasn't sure what I was trying to offer. I could feel everyone staring, waiting to see what was going on, but I didn't care. Aro could kiss my stone cold ass for all I cared. Slowly Demetri reached with a gloved hand and took mine, and I felt like superman. Everything that mattered to me before we arrived in that clearing didn't matter anymore. I didn't want to serve the Volturi. I didn't want to slaughter our own kind, as that was worse than drinking humans. There were a few muttered comments among the guard but I completely ignored them. Aro looked like a child whose parents just took away his favorite toy, and Caius looked murderous.

"Guard," he barked. "Kill them! Kill the traitors!" The slow smile that had built up on Demetri's face vanished.

**Next up is the LAST chapter! But don't be too sad when it ends, I already have a sequel in mind. But the sequel won't be that long; 2 chapters at the least. Reviews? Requests? Comments? Always welcome:)**


	9. Never Say Never

**So…um, this is like, the last chapter…so…I guess I'll do what other authors do at the end. Thanks to all my readers through this whole thing and for the lovely reviews I got**** Your support is most appreciated! Don't be too sad when the chapter's over, though, because there **_**will **_**a short sequel. There's a lot I didn't put in this story than I intended, but the lemons I promised will definitely be in the sequel! **

**-Demetrifever123 :3**

"_Some things we don't talk about_

_Rather do without, and just hold a smile_

_Fallin' in and out of love, _

_Same then follow, together all the while_

_You can never say never while you're knowin' time and time again_

_Younger now than we were before_

_Don't let me go(x6)"_

I didn't have time to think about it, there was no time if Caius ordered it. I grasped Demetri's hand and ran for all it was worth. I could hear the guard that leaped for us, but heard them drop to the ground motionless after they did. The shocked gasps that erupted throughout both sides caused him to look back with wide eyes. I heard Caius's angry yells at the guard, but mostly at Jane and Alec. They could go after us for a certain point, but there was a job that had to be done there. They would come after us later, giving us enough time to ditch this town.

Everything moved so fast. We left the clearing as quickly as we came, and the voices grew more and more distant. Though we were a good distance away, I didn't let go of Demetri's hand. We stopped at a cliff that had a large body of frozen water at the bottom. I had heard the name once before; La Push beach or something like that. The ice was in between freezing and melting and the water spilled over slightly.

I looked over at Demetri, who both blended in and stuck out in the snow. His skin was pale but his hair was dark and his eyes were a beautiful, prominent red. He looked at our joined hands and looked up at me.

"They'll kill us, you know. If they win," he said solemnly.

"I know." He looked surprised for a reason I wasn't sure of. "But they might lose." He cracked a smile at that.

"I guess our bets are on that." His gaze turned to the almost frozen water at the end of the long fall from the cliff and his smile faded yet again. He pulled his hand out of my grasp. "Some of the guard left." I furrowed my eyebrows. "When we left, so did some of the guard. Chelsea, Afton, Jane and Alec to be more specific." That was actually surprising. Chelsea would be reluctant to fight and Afton would leave with her, but Jane would never leave Aro's side unless Alec used his talent on her and dragged her away.

We sat for a while in silence. I could tell he was keeping tabs on who died and watched for who was winning. It was very quiet, if only for the swaying wind coming and going, and I jumped when he did. "Is it over? Who won?"

He just nodded and sighed through his nose, touching the Volturi pendant that hung around his neck. I smiled broadly; it was over. There wouldn't be any more slaughter or having to refer to one person as "master". I wouldn't even have to answer to anyone at all.

He traced the lines on the necklace before murmuring a slight "Thank you".

"For what? Getting us out of there?" He nodded.

"And for the eye-opening experience." He pulled the pendant over his head and held it over the edge of the cliff. He seemed reluctant to let it go. "Do you think I should forget all of this and start over? Or should I keep it as a reminder of what might not be a good idea to forget? Sometime in the distant future there _will_ be another coven that will do the same thing the Volturi did. All of this will happen again, one that might not be as civilized." I thought about it for a moment and how true and possible it really was.

"Sometimes it's better to forget and do what you wanted to do than linger on what you regret." Huh, that rhymed. I think those were my actual first words of wisdom/Shakespeare. He looked into the distance off of the cliff and breathed in the fresh air. His grip loosened and he let it slip through his fingers and I watched as it slowly fell into the water.

"Thank you, Felix," he repeated. He looked like he had more he wanted to say, but nothing came out. His chest rose and he held his breath. "Maybe I'll see you again in the future."He let out his breath in one puff and his chest deflated. I swallowed trying to hold back the sadness that crashed over me after he said those words, and how much they seemed to hurt him.

Instead I settled for something short. "Yeah." It was so faint I wasn't even sure if I actually said it. His mouth slightly parted and he looked down, walking away. I counted every step he took away from me, and every step he took the more I regretted the words I said. I could have said something to make him come back, to tell him just so he knew I still loved him as much as I did before. As much as I wanted to say something, I didn't. And the next thing I knew he was gone. I realized that the moment we just shared was probably very well our last. I could have cried would I been able to. I wanted to run after him, but I wasn't the tracker, and I had no idea where he went. He was gone.

I screamed the words over and over again in my head. Gone. _Gone. _I ripped the necklace from my neck and gripped it tightly, making indents in the sides. The Volturi could have been my worst decision ever, but it could have been my best. I met him there. I befriended him there. I loved him there. But I also broke his heart along the way.

I could remember the first day we met as clear as day in my head.

_The guard surrounded a corner in the throne room, trying to harness the newborn guard member. I could remember how frightening it was at first, and how scared the newcomer must be surrounded by threats in a strange place wondering what happened to him. He crouched down in the corner and hissed as someone made an attempt to walk towards him. Aro was watching from behind us with curiosity, seeing how we would calm him down. It would be hard to catch him with his newborn strength, but I was sure I could. Newborns were frantic and jumpy, so there was no point in trying to calm him down. His crimson eyes stood out of his pale complexion, and his features I found very attractive. From his vibrant eyes to his high cheekbones down to his angular jaw…Focus, Felix. His scent was favorable, much more than any I had smelt before. Damn it, _focus.

_He darted for a gap between me and another guard, and I restrained him from getting further. I had both of his wrists up and stood behind him so he couldn't fight back, and he fell to his knees, trying to shake me off while growling and hissing. He was almost as strong as I was and I found it almost a challenge to keep him under control. I held him as still as I could on the marble floor while Aro stood and walked toward him. When Aro extended a hand to him he jerked away. He reached again and touched his face, making him look up into his eyes while he violated his private thoughts that he thought would always be private. But nothing was a secret in the Volturi. Aro's mouth turned up in a delighted smile. "How lovely," he said gleefully. _

I remembered how he couldn't leave the castle without killing any humans that were around him, making him almost useless to Aro for a few years. I think his newborn year was worse than mine. I remembered how spastic he was and how many times Jane had to use her talent on him. Later the screaming that came from him when Jane pained him annoyed Caius and just had Alec cut his senses.

_Aro couldn't feed him until Heidi came back so he sent me to take him to his room, which would probably be guarded around the clock. My right hand had his left arm, and he didn't fight back. He just tried to get away. He pulled and threw himself against the wall yelling frantically. I felt badly for him. My newborn year was fresh in my head and I couldn't forget how traumatizing it was to wake up in a new body in a strange place and no one would give you answers on what happened to you. "Let go," he growled. "What did you do to me? Where am I?" He threw out questions I answered with one word each. It was, "No." "We changed you." "Volterra." When we were at his room I threw open the door and pushed him inside, though I really didn't want to, I had to remain feared like I was supposed to. "You'll be staying here. Your questions will be answered quite soon." Heidi would be back very soon. _

Every sweet moment I had spent with him came back after the ones I'd rather forget.

_The rain in the city poured down on the super-sized, black umbrella I held over myself. The streets and sidewalk flooded with water and it thundered above. Stupid rainy cities…I couldn't believe Aro had sent us here. You couldn't do anything because you always had to hold something over your head. Suddenly I saw a swift flash of white and my umbrella was gone. I saw Demetri run off with it into the distance shouting, "Run, sucker, run!" He was laughing hysterically and I chased him down, failing miserably and getting drenched going so. Eventually he gave it back because I couldn't catch him and as he put it once, "Cats don't like to get wet." I stared into his eyes only a few inches away from his face. A crazy thought crossed my mind at that moment, but I couldn't do it. At that moment with his hair getting wet in the rain as he looked at me smiling, I wanted to kiss him. _

I smiled at the memory, and then frowned and gripped my hair in frustration.

_It had been a few weeks after I told him I loved him. I wasn't sure if he was ready, but I wanted to find out. I placed my hands on his hips and drew him closer to me. He got the idea and kissed me deeply while wrapping his arms around my torso. He was so damn beautiful that I could feel an arousal already coming into place, and I leaned him back onto my bed. His hands massaged the small of my back, and I thought that he might be ready, too. I lay on top of him completely and began to unbutton his shirt. Once I was done I discarded it on the floor and placed kisses down his neck. He tilted his head to the side allowing me better access. He moaned and I kissed him on the lips again. Our tongues swirled and he put light pressure on my chest, breaking apart from the kiss. I opened my eyes to see him looking at me in a concerned way. "You're trembling," he stated. I hadn't realized it. I looked and apparently I was, but I had no idea why. _

"_I am," I said softly and went to kiss him again. It didn't last long and he pulled back and lowered my head so my forehead was on his sternum. I closed my eyes and breathed in his scent as his chest rose and fell while his fingers kneaded through my hair as he massaged my scalp until I was still. Nothing else happened that night. _

That time was the last time I kissed him that I didn't feel guilty the whole time.

I continued to look at the Volturi pendant as the memories flooded in. I had met Demetri there and that was enough reason to keep it, but I hurt him beyond belief and that was enough to toss it. I gritted my teeth and chucked it down into the water. The sooner I forgot, to sooner Demetri would. I looked to where I had last seen him and I came to a conclusion that made me ball up my fists and look down. My chest was tighter than it had been when I admitted to cheating on him. I held in the sobs that someone close by might hear. I knew what I would do, though I might regret it. If it made him happy, then I would try to bear with it.

I decided the best thing to do was let him go.

I looked down at the water again and thought about how willingly some vampires could commit suicide when they lost their mates.

"_I will be your guardian when all is crumbling_

_Steady your hands"_

It sounded so appealing.

"_You can never say never while you're knowin' time and time again_

_Younger now than we were before"_

But it's stupid, Felix. No one should kill themselves no matter what the reason.

"_We're falling apart, and crawling together again and again_

_We're crawling apart, and we're falling together_

_Pulling together to share love again"_

Without really thinking about it I jumped off of the cliff, which was stupid because the fall wouldn't even hurt me. The cold air felt good on my skin, and my mind raced with my two options. Let him go.

_Find him. Stop him. You love him so find him. _

_Let him go. Let him be _happy.

_Let him go!_

Kill yourself.

You can't live without him. Kill yourself.

I let my body go limp as I smacked against the freezing water. _Death…I won't be able to find him…I'll have to let go…or kill myself. But I couldn't let go of _Demetri. One of the options rang in my head. _Kill yourself…_Never.

One thing I had learned in my lifetime though was to never say never.

_"Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go-o(x2)_

_Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go-o-o(x3)"_

_The Fray_


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